Radioshow tomorrow, check it:

I asked a friend what my "fashion style" was and she answered "slightly gothic". Needless to say, I was like "wtf." Gothic, really? I know I wear a lot of black, and I do have this lace black skirt (LOL), but...Gothic? Anyway, today, my pen leaked in my mouth without my knowledge. Luckily, not too much. I was looking at myself in the mirror and I thought "damn...I do look kind of gothic :S Am I wearing a slightly blackish lipgloss?!"

After closer inspection, I realized the pen had leaked in my mouth and I felt stupid.

Me ordering my crazy Cake.

M: I was just wondering how long do the orders usually take for custom made cakes?
Cake lady: Well I recommend you give us at least 24 hours notice.
M: Ok.
Cake lady: Why, is it an emergency?
M: A little bit.
Cake lady: Well then we can try to get it done faster.
M: So can you also put 'Malavika' on it?
Cake lady : Okay...Um, like 'Happy birthday Malavika' or...?
M: No. Just "Malavika"
Cake lady: *awkward silence*, but what's the occasion?
M: Just...just feel like cake with my name on it :$
Cake lady:...lol...okay.
Mom: *shaking her head at me*

Well, www.malavika.com is going for over $500 USD. Or I could get www.malavikasuresh.com for like $10 a year. I think I am going to go for the latter, simply because designing the website is going to cost so damn much.

www.malavikasuresh.com Is good though :) Why? Because it is my name. And my webdesigner is going to discount me a little bit because I am awesome! Aw! That's so nice.

My reading frenzy starts on wednesday. I am not doing readings today or tomorrow because school is going to be brutal for the next two days.

Monday:
Chemistry Lab exam.
Biology lab test.
Biology Pre lab due.

Tuesday:
Study for Chemistry test tomorrow :( (Chapter 9 AND 11 wtf =[ )
Do chemistry writing assignment

Wednesday:
Chemistry Test
Chem writing assignment Due
readings

Thursday:
English 1200 word essay due.
No readings - Michelle's open evening! Yay.

Friday:
Readings

Saturday:
Readings

Sunday:
Readings

And so on and so forth. Yay!!!

I am in school right now, about to go to math. So much to do today.

I just want to go for a drive with my mom. I want to go and buy my cake. Yet again, I don't want to be here. It doesn't help that I am ridiculously sick again. This is what the winter does to me! Grr. My mom says it's the winter blues but I say NAY. It is not. Maybe a little bit but not that much because I am actually looking forward to the snow and the warm glow of the houses in my neighbourhood.

What this is is my tiredness of being sick. What this is is my tiredness of being school. I am so ready for it to be over! I just can't wait.

I have my first two clients from the states :)

I went to the bookstore with Jennifer yesterday and I had my milkshake, but Jennifer didn't because she was sick.
I am excited to go to Florida! I am going to have lots and lots of fun. We are gonne be at disney world on christmas! I feel like I am 5 again. I am very excited =]

I really want to stop being sick :(

I watched My sister's keeper with my mom last night. I wonder when I became such a huge pussy about movies like that. I bawled consistantly throughout the whole thing. I just wished someone would rip out my eyes.

Just after we ordered the movie on pay per vue, Jennifer texted me that she was feeling better and ready for some milkshakes. I was like - damnit woman. Lol. But it's okay. I'm going to see her today. I am. I am. I am.

A lady from my workshop asked me to be a GUEST SPEAKER and some kind of event that happens in Vancouver. Wow! I was like ...Uhhhh Ya! She also said that I was a "natural public speaker" which you have no idea how good it is for me to hear.
Public speaking is something I've been working on for a while now but now I think for the most part, my fear is gone. I remember the first time this summer I had to talk infront of just 5 people and I had the craziest butterflies.

Now, it's not like that. I mean, i get butterflies but they are managable tamed butterflies. And I'll cut their wings off if they give me too much trouble.

I found the perfect webdesigner. And it's very cool because he is spiritual and stuff too, and he even said that this was the kind of project he'd been wanting to work on. *lovestruck*.

AND he's a graphic designer. Meaning he can make the pretty.

I feel so lonely tonight
I want to go out for milkshakes with Jennifer.
I wish Colbie was in town.
But nooo, everybody is sick!
I feel loneeeely!
It's such a peculiar feeling. I don't usually feel like this. I am not someone who feels like they "should be out" on a friday night. And this isn't because it's a friday. I just don't want to think about school for a bit, and I don't want to be at home reading my lab manual, and I really really want some milkshakes.
I don't feel like partying.
I don't feel like being here. I so want to be outside drinking a nice chocolate milkshake, listening to someone.
i want it to be dark outisde while i am outside.
i dont even feel like doing readings!
i just feel like some relaxing mindless fun.

meh, maybe i will write a letter to oprah.
LOL.

Whew, I am glad this chainsaw of a week has come to an end.

I've started to schedule my readings. Blah! It's so hard to keep organized with readings now a days. I can't wait till I can just hire someone to "organize stuff" for me. Hopefully when I have my website set up, I will just have a calender up with days and times I am available and people can "apply" for a time slot, and if they get it, I will send them a confirmation e-mail. That is a smart idea.

And everytime I schedule one person in, another 3 people sign up on the waiting list. It is never ending! Hehe, the current waiting list is at 20 more readings for the month of november, which is clearly not possible. I am scheduling one reading per day, so if I start next week, I should be done in 20 days. Still, that is a pretty long waiting list for people :( I dunno what to do. There is nothing I can do. I have to balance school with readings, so it's not like I can pull of a 4 in a row whammy during the week anyway.

And it goes so fast. As soon as I send out an email asking people who wants a particular time slot on say, thursday, within MINUTES, about 5 people have requested it and I have to be the evil btich who turns people down.

Oh universe don't take this as me complaining. I AM VERY EXCITED AND HAPPY!! I will be raedy for more as soon as I figure out how to organize this mess of people :P

xoxoxo

My show was SOOOOOO GREAT TODAY! Omg!

I don't know how or what changed but I felt so comfortable and it was so inspiring and I had a lot of fun :) So now I feel comfortable enough to give you the big reveal.

Check it out!


www.thex.ca

Click enter.
And then *Listen Live*

Thursdays:
1:00pm-2:00pm

If you are from England, I will figure out the time difference soon and let yall know.

life is good.

I have had such a wonderful day today :)

I only had classes till 12:30 but I stayed till 5:30 to work on stuff with Colbie. We did lots. I still have lots to do.
Ex.

1. Study for math.
2. Finish English essay
3. Prep for The M show.
4. Machoo is calling



Tomorrows show is gonna be about either

a) instant karma and random acts of kindness! paying it forward, giving and receiving etc.
b) Being confident and living the life of your dreams - letting go of your limititations.

Which oneeee?

I made a new friend :) Her name is Colbie and she is a figure skater and she is lovely. I really like her and I get lots of good feelings about her.

I've noticed a somewhat unhelpful quality in me - when things get stressful in my life and the things on my "to do list" especially when it is school related - i want to run away! I Infact, even with the extra pressure, I do less. I just dont feel motivated. I kind of feel like backing off and detaching and watching my life from afar - when school is concerned.

As I said, it is not the most helpful trait. If it's a game of survival of the fittest - I am not gong to win. Yet.

In other areas, I am better, when it comes to readings, and other things, i don't seem to think that way. When I get a really busy week at school and I know there is plenty for me to do, I just feel like saying "fuck it."

weiiiird.

I definitely have tonsilitous or something. my mouth is not supposed to feel like this :(

It feels like a train rammed down my throat.



song and artist of the moment:
her voice is genius.




and just for fun (it's fun to bob your head to and sign along with)

Hi everybody!

The workshop was soooo wonderful. I had a lot of fun. I met a lot of new people and it helped me "expand my network". I did 4 readings yesterday, workshop today followed by 3 readings, and i have 4 readings tomorrow before I head home.

I am in my dream zone. That is so exciting! I am at the bottom of my dream ladder, but I am actually in the zone now. I don't know how to explain it. I can't help but feel total gratitude resonate through me in everything I do. My life feels like such a blessing :)
Mom and I went to a chocolate fondue cafe today. We ordered a platter of candy, marshmellows, and fresh fruits, and dipped it in chocolate and ate it. After that we went to a nice greek restaurant.

I love my mother. She is my biggest cheerleader :)

All my readings so far have been so wonderful. Actually, there was one that was not really done in the best of my ability. That's because I took a stupid nap between, and it totally messed me up. I felt "out of it" for the first half of the reading :( Oh well.

I am quite anxious to get back to Kamloops because I have so much to get organized as soon as I am home.

1. School. Ugh. This week: Math midterm, english midterm, biology lab exam, write up chemistry lab report, do biology writing assignment.
2. Schedule in over 10 phone and in person readings with the people on my waiting list.
3. Plan radio show the third. Hopefully I won't mess up so damn much this time! Aaahh!
4. Organize private-home workshop for Kamloops client.
5. E-mail back website dude! Yay for www.malavika.com being MINE.

I think that's it. Schools done soon and I ain't going back next semester so I have to just make it through and do better with that.

I am so exhausted right now. I just need to sleep. Up tomorrow at 8:00am to start readings till 12:30. Then flying back to loops.

<3 I love you. This wouldn't be real without your support.

Tomorrow I am going to be living my dream :) It has taken so long and so much hard work to get here, but I have never once regretted it, I have never once questioned it, I have never once wondered "what if this doesn't work out for me?"


So here I am, and I am proud of myself, and I am happy and I am so incredibly excited!
Hello, new life!


We arrive in Van city around 12:00 and I begin my readings from 3:00-8:00.
Workshop on Saturday till 2:00, and readings from 4:00-8:00
Sunday: Readings from 8:30-12:30


And other than that, my radio show was so jacked up today! I could barely talk. I suddenly became so aware of my tongue. It was weird. I got all the technical stuff down though, which was great, but the talking proved to be quite difficult. I was nervous and at times I totally blanked out! Miss Prescot, would just say "Malavika, calm down. You know this stuff."

Well, I can only get better! Hehe. That's a good way to look at things.

Anyway I'm hitting the bed early tonight to prepare for my amazing gift of a weekend. I'll take lots of pictures. I have to go meet Miss Prescot now. She wants to talk to me :)

Have a great weekend yalls.

The Malavika show is on today.

Playlist:

1.       I can feel a hot one – Manchester orchestra

2.       Your rocky spine – great lake swimmers

3.       No one would riot for less – bright eyes

4.       Your English is good –tokyo police club

5.       I’ll believe in anything – wolf parade

6.       On my own – the used

7.       Big bird in a small cage – Patrick watson

8.       Gabriel – lamb

9.       Another bag of bones – Kevin devine

10.   Peach, plum, pear – Joanna newsom

11.   Skinny love – bon iver

12.   Honey and the moon – joseph Arthur

13.   Maybe not – cat power

14.   So long, so long – dashboard confessional

15.   The trapeze swinger – iron and wine

16.   I was born (A unicorn) – the unicorns

17.   Let’s get known – the unicorns

18.   Spring cleaning – son ambulance and bright eyes

19.   Life is beautiful – six am

20.   Naked as we came – iron and wine.

Okay remember that guy who I went on that very scary date with?!
Well...I ran into him. UGH. I was in Nandos having lunch with my mom and he comes in with some -I want to be raped also- girl. He totally knew it was me. He kept looking, but was obviously scared because my mom was there.
I was like...Oh my god. Mom. Lets go.
But obviously, she was like "no. I want to get a good look at him" and she was just staring at him, Anyway, I gave him a look, and then left, and my mom came out later.
He texted me saying

"U seemed like so hurted yesterday, but i tell you U something, I am so hurted"

Wow, now suddenly I feel quite overwhelmed. I am almost scared to open up my inbox because I get so many emails from people wanting workshop and readings. And missed calls...

And all the while I was just watching "The Hills." That Kristen girl is so pretty.

bksdlhfs;ldfs there is so much to organize at the moment:

- Send out e-mails to people coming to workshop - a reminder.
- Send out e-mails to people for in-person readings this weekend, reminding them of their time.
- E-mail a billion people telling them they are now on the waiting the list for Vancouver readings.
- Sort out who is on the 'I only want an in person reading' waiting list and those who are in the 'I don't mind if I have a phone reading' waiting list and the 'I want you to get skype so we can have a skype reading.'
- Organize the 'I am from Kamloops and I want a reading with you when you get back' people.
I have not yet made bookings for people for this coming week because I dont know how that week looks yet, and I have so many tests and things to do. I kind of regret not booking them in anyway, because now it means I have to deal with all of that when I get back.

- Print off stuff for workshop.
- Make compilation cd  for workship with music too.


And then on TOP of that I have to:

- Do my biology writing assignment
- Start my 1200 word english essay
-  Study for my biology lab test
- Study for my english midterms :(
-  Plan tomorrows radio show.


O_O
And what have I been doing for the last hour? Oh yes, I've been watching...THE HILLS. THE HILLS. Are you kidding me! ? :P This has got to stop. Miss Prescot says "Malavika, you wanted this kind of life style, so now you have to make some changes. The you that you were before is not the you that you must become in order to have your dream life. If that were the case you would have been there already. Now is your chance. Make some life changes. Set some new rules"

Ok, it helped to write it all down though. This is what I am going to do:

1. school
2. workshop
3. school
4. workshop
5. school
6. radio
7. workshop
8. school
9. driving
10. school
11. workshop


and on and on till infinity.

I am unsure of what to do. I have been e-mailing a lady who won't be able to make it to the workshop, but both she and her sister wanted readings from me, either on the phone or the next time I am the city. Her sister's husband recently just died, and I passed on a couple messages to her just because I felt them so strongly and I wanted them to know. So the lady said she really wants a reading, and that this was the first bit of closure she has ever received, and that she is willing to come in from the island to meet me for an hour. I mean....I don't know. Anyway, I really don't think I have any space in my schedule for any more schedule. I guess I COULD if I absolutely had to, but it would mean I do 4 readings a row which is something I am not a fan of.
But I could do it if I must do it.

But is it right of me to offer this lady a reading? Because I know she is hurting and I know what her husband would say would relieve her a lot, and plus she is willing to come from the islands to see me for just an hour.

I don't know :( Is it right for me to offer her space when I have 9 people on the waiting list?


O_O

Well a while back I set myself a totally unrealistic goal. I wanted to do 31 readings in a month (equivellent to one reading a day). It was totally unreasonable to me, who at the time, was just getting back into doing readings after a long lag. I think I did like 3 readings in the month of September alone!

This month I have 22 readings booked and still working my way up. That just shows that anything is possible through the power of INTENT.


Never be realistic with your goals because all you will ever get back is normal, ordinary, and realistic.

Be unreasonable and wonderful and colourful and bright and beautiful and never be afraid to let what you want shine through in EVERYTHING you do from now on.